So it is 20:57 and I am sitting down to a quiet home after having a frantic day! My normal day starts at about 4am when my one year old who sleeps in a cot in our bedroom wakes up, I stumble over my slippers to fetch her and cuddle her in bed knowing I probably have another 90 minutes of rest. But this 90 minutes is her foot in my back, rubbing of my hair and tossing around. I don’t care because I just need my eyes to not be open. Now it’s 05:30 – my alarm goes off. I press snooze. 06:05 I hear my two boys shouting at each other over Lego and suddenly my bedroom door is opened with a bang thanks to my needy dog who loves to wake us up. It’s go time. COFFEE. I need it, I desperately need it. My husband takes the kids to the kitchen as I make my way towards the light of the hallway. Husband hands me a warm cup of coffee while my kids are fighting over who is stronger, Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader (we are Star Wars obsessed at the moment!) My 1 year old now can’t walk and needs to be carried to breakfast. Ok, caffeine hits and all of a sudden it’s 06:45. Time to get going. Check lunches are packed, kids brushed their teeth, washed their face, and dressed appropriately. Shoes on, homework and library book in the school bags. I am dressed, my lunch packed and we out of the door but wait, there is a tantrum, or a bribe that needs to be made just to get one of the kids into the car so we can start the day.
Drop the kids off and then there are emails that need responding, meetings to be had, strategic vision and planning to be implemented, people to manage, financial crises to handle and in-between making sure the kids are okay, did I check in with the husband about how he is doing, checking if I made that doctors appointment, then before you know it is school pick up, homework, play time, supper time, bedtime, and whatever-is-left time.
It is no wonder that they say, being a working moms is the equivalent of working 2.5 jobs in a recent study. Welsch (2018) states that working moms work about 98 hours a week. Well, that explains the bags under my eyes. But seriously, being a working mom is incredibly hard particularly when you feel like you not doing anything to the best of your ability and then you carry guilt around which, let’s face it, makes you feel like a failure, overwhelmed, lonely and sometimes depressed. Trying to juggle it all may feel impossible sometimes. I know. And it is okay to feel like that because it is A LOT.
With all of these balls in the air, what I found helpful is ensuring that you have a handle on time management. Being able to be good with your time helps you feel less overwhelmed and have a bit more in control of the day that is ahead of you. So I’m going to share with you the most effective tips that I find for time management:
- Routine, Routine, Routine: this saves my mental energy and reduces stress. This doesn’t just include bedtime and morning routines but also meal prep, chores, check-ups etc. Instead of asking “What are we having for dinner?” or “When last did we clean out the freezer?” Routine helps to free up time and help you focus.
- Prioritise: This means knowing what to say no too. I work in 3 zones – urgent, important & delay. This helps me know what needs to be done right away, what needs to get done the same day and what can be moved over. Remember we only have 24 hours in a day and 8 of them is for sleep. We can’t get everything done, but we can get the things we need to.
- Delegate: Don’t carry the load yourself, ask for help, give tasks to those in your office and those in your home. Lean on your support system. When we got covid, my mother was a lifesaver – food was dropped, medicine was ordered, activity packs were bought. Part of delegating is outsourcing – since covid I have done most of my grocery shopping online, while in meetings. I have outsourced my daily home cleaning & gardening services. I can’t lie, coming home to a clean house just makes me feel relaxed automatically.
- Time block: I give time to tasks rather than an endless to-do list. For example, 9am to 10am: I respond to emails; 11am to 1pm is scheduled meetings, 4pm to 5pm, I am preparing supper etc. This helps me stay focused and get the task done rather than guessing
- Being flexible: Though routine is important, it’s important to keep things flexible enough to accommodate the unexpected things that moms encounter like sick kids, deadlines popping up, and the occasional meltdown. Having a time cushion and some backup plans can take the stress out of the unexpected, and keep one schedule hiccup from throwing off your whole day (or week).
- Self-Care: it’s easy for us, as working moms to prioritise the kids, partner, work, household chores and so much more, but it is never easy to prioritise ourselves which can lead to us feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. When we’re tired or have binged on junk food, we’re often less productive and organized, and this lack of clarity can translate into more time wasted throughout the day and less time available to get everything done that needs doing. So get quality sleep, eat a healthy diet, and follow other self-care strategies for mothers, and you’ll be operating at your best — and be less stressed.
These are a few of tips for making our busy lives much easier so that we can nurture our mental health, find a good work-life balance so that we can enjoy our work and family life and just ditch the guilt. Our goal as Working Moms Thrive is to ensure that we are not just coaxing through life-merely surviving but that we also thrive- reach our full potential and make most of the opportunities that life has for us.
If you haven’t downloaded our Self-Care E-Book do so today-it is a great way making sure that you are making time for yourself in your busy schedule.
Written by Danielle
Working Moms Thrive 